Last night when I was laying in bed I began to have a panic. I suddenly had the overwhelming feeling that I am going to die in birth or shortly thereafter. I totally flipped out and started crying..of course I didn't tell Scott why I was crying I just said, "Oh I'm just freaked out now that we have a definite end date in sight and I need to get my big girl panties on, that's all." I figured one freaked out person was enough for the evening.
Is this a normal feeling? Do all first time, maybe second and third time moms have this vision of the Grim Reaper? Or is it just that I am suddenly not going to be the last in line in the family tree anymore and that has shaken me up a bit?
A few months back my mother told me her birth story, that began with me being 10 days late, continued with 48 hours of non-induced labor (most of it back labor) and ended with her hemorrhaging on the couch at home and my Dad rushing her to the ER for emergency surgery and several blood transfusions. I often wonder if my Dad had not been trained as a Navy Corpsman during the Vietnam conflict, would he have known the signs and been able to save my mother. I think any other "normal" person would have sat there and waited for the ambulance, however he had the presence of mind to know that the ambulance ride would have ultimately killed her and brought her himself.
My mother is an only child and so am I. My grandmother was 1 of 2. It makes me wonder if when my mother was born her mother had the same issue. However, back in the 1940's women stayed for 2 weeks in the hospital and childbirth wasn't exactly the celebrated family supported event it is now with your husband in the room with you holding your hand. Everything was hush-hush, so if that was the case, I'll never know.
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3 comments:
I panicked about the delivery too. Especially when they took me in to have the unplanned C section the first time. When they said Dave couldn't come in because they had to knock me out I balled. Child birth is scary because you have never done it. And then scary again because you have. Ultimately everything will work out. Try to stay calm. ((HUGS))
Think good thoughts, lady:) All will be well...I agree with SMThoughts (hmmm, that acronym doesn't work quite right;) in the sense that it is totally normal to be scared and on top of that typical scared you have your mom's story, which is very unusual and unlikely...you will be fine. You've been in regular contact with your Dr. and have a set date and time to be in the hospital, closely monitored...and your mom was much later than you are now...deep breathes, good thoughts and think ahead to holding that precious little baby girl in your arms soon!!! xoxox
I panicked too! It will be okay! I hemorrhaged a week after delivery and with modern medicine I'm still fine! You will be great! I freaked again about 10 minutes before I started pushing. I was like.. "Oh, God. I'm going to be a mother... wait! wait! I'm not ready!" But that too turned out fine!
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