~Am I a horrible person?~

Why oh why do I feel this way?

Scott said to me Wednesday night, hey my mom is probably going to call you tomorrow and ask to come up with Lewis. In a nutshell I basically said I wasn't up to seeing anyone, even if it was the Pope flanked by Al Gore and Bill Clinton. So then he says, "well you don't have to then." But Scott, I *feel* like I have to..don't you get it? (It's that whole I'm-afraid-to-offend-the-MIL-thing) So I start cleaning the friggin' house at 8:00PM. He says, "you're just cleaning because my mother might come tomorrow."
I said, "I'd clean if *anyone* was coming tomorrow"..duh!
So then he says, "I'll call her and tell her not to, you shouldn't be worrying about things like this now."
I reply, "No..it's fine," in that stubborn defeated tone of voice. He says, "I'm calling her..case closed."
"Thank you, honey."
So it was done, so I thought.

So then yesterday at 9:00AM my MIL called and basically invited herself and my BIL over during lunchtime. I was kinda hinting that I didn't want anyone over (Hello, I am due on Saturday!) and that there was nothing for lunch here. So then she said, "well I'll take you out to lunch and will pick you up around 12:30-1:00." I reply, "ok, well I know you'll want to go to Marshall's too while you are Lewis are up here, I however will not be joining you on that safari. I'm pretty much dead at 2:00." She said, "Well when I was in the last stages of pregnancy with Reed (other BIL) I could barely move. But anyways, well we'll see you then.." *click* Fuck. Didn't she talk to Scott???

I call Scott and tell him what is going on. He's dumbfounded I said it was ok for her to come over...I was like..I felt like I didn't have a choice. I'm in tears now, borderline hysterical (hormones, I know) and he says that he is calling her now. I hang up and have a meltdown. I'm tired of being the "entertainment". I'm just tired of it all. Scott calls back and says he can't get a hold of either of them and left messages on their cel phones. I tell him thank you and that it's ok and it's my fault. We hang up. Double fuck.

He calls back 5 minutes later and says I just talked to my mother and they were like 3 exits away. Was she mad? No, but she didn't understand why you couldn't tell her yourself. Insert big drawn out sigh from me here. So I apparently offended her *more* by not telling her I didn't want an audience. Triple fuck. I can't win.

Now here is the kicker; a few days ago I had a conversation with Scott about how his mother has a tendency to offend me with the things she says. For example, she said our nursery paint looked like Pepto Bismol. Um, excuse me? Who fucking asked your opinion (#1) and (#2) hasn't anyone ever taught you the difference between constructive criticism and insults? Another example is this: "Well, 50 lbs on me (she is 5' 11" and I am 5' 4") looks *much* different than 50 lbs on *you*." Fuck. You.

Do you not know when to stop talking? Ever? Do you like the sound of your own voice that much?

His mother is a knitter, sewer and painter..she is quite crafty. I said to him in a million years I would never ever say anything negative about any project your mother created. Even if I hated it to no end, I'd search my brain for something positive to say about it. Why? Because that is the respectful thing to do.

You could see he felt bad, and apologized for her behavior, and even offered to call her and talk to her about it on my behalf. I declined and told him that I appreciate the offer (more than he'll ever know) but it is my battle to fight and one day I will say something about it. I assured him though that when I do have the conversation, I will not yell scream and carry on like a banshee, but have it like 2 adults in a respectful conversation. I also added that if anyone (my mother, his mother, etc..) says anything derogatory like that concerning our daughter, I will tell them where to stick it and it may not be a pretty sight.

So where am I going with this you may ask? I am just hoping he does not think these 2 incidents are related, because they certainly are not.