~I've been told I'm full of shit before but this is ridiculous~

It seems like I can't stop pooing right now. I just don't get it. I get that "get outta my way" feeling, run to the toilet, and the first round is fabulous..the second not so much and then it just starts to peter out..but yet I go like at least 5 times before noon! The look and color is totally normal, so I'm not all bent out of shape about that, it's just that well, I'd like to have a normal morning!!! I feel like I am stuck in the house until lunchtime. Not only that..my poor little starfish! She has never ever gotten this much abuse. :( Thank goodness for wipes with aloe and witch hazel..I have no idea how people can stand this with plain old dry paper.