Weekend Getaway

So Scott and I had a long weekend last weekend, spending it with my parents on one of the islands off the coast of Massachusetts. It was nice to be away for a bit, plus me not seeing 2 pink lines about 2 weeks ago made it much easier to look my mom and dad in the eye when speaking to them. As disappointed as I was to not see those 2 lines, I was equally relieved not to have to 'lie' all weekend. The questions would have been inevitable..

"Why don't you have a cocktail?"

"No wine tonight?"

"Since when don't you eat seared tuna?"

I seriously could not bear trying to think up reasons' WHY' so in a selfish sort of way I was thankful.

Tests & Tampons

Gah..ok so "the test" was lurking in my bathroom taunting me with its presence, so I HAD to take it. Plus Scott was going to the liquor store and asked me if I wanted to come, so I had to see if the trip was worth it, you know? And seeing I was due for my period in 2 days anyways, I took the test and kaputz ..one line..no baby. Oh well..so I drowned my sorrows in some Old Speckled Hen. Although I have to say I didn't feel any different, but I had to be sure that it was ok to buy myself beer, you know?

The first period after stopping the pill is in a nutshell..disgusting. First off..I had a headache that made it seem like my eyeballs were going to pop out of my head, you know..like how a migraine starts? Effin' terrible. Then the next day this hellish spawn of a headache turned into a period that gave the headache a run for it's money. Oh. My. God. I bled through Super Absorbency tampons in a matter of 2 hours and I felt like I had to pee really bad the whole time, but I know I really didn't have to it was just the, well, YOU KNOW. So I put a new Super in and bounded up some toilet paper in the crotch of my undies and to the drugstore I go to buy Super Plus and panty liners. Dear Lord those Super Plus are BIG. "Oof", is all I can say about that insertion.

No help from the Monster In Law?

So yesterday Scott and I were lolling about and chatting about everything from gardening to putting in a pool (stay-cation here we come!) to future vehicles. He got the notion that in about 1 year after the child is born we could somehow go on a short vacation with just him and I. Mind you I'm not even pregnant yet and he is already talking about this sort of thing. So seeing we live in southern New England, we have lots of options available to us, however what I suggested was a 3/4 day cruise to Bermuda. No airfare, just park the car in NY/NJ and go to the terminal.

Then I said how nice it would be seeing it's on the way, to drop said child off at HIS parent's house for the weekend. How happy they would be (so I thought) to have some one-on-one time the child without anyone else to interfere with it.

HA!

He says to me: My mom already told me she isn't helping us.

WTF is that all about?! I mean seriously.

He says; "We'll probably have to drive to your parent's house and then to NY/NJ to do that." Uh..my parents live like 1 hour outside Boston. You're crazy Mister!

So I said; "Well then if they are over visiting and the child shats in his diaper is she going to try and hand him/her over to ME?"
He just looked at me with a smirk as if to say, "well of course!"
I said; "No way..if you're holding the bomb when it goes off you are the one to change it, and that goes for everyone."

Am I expecting too much? I mean it's not like his parents WORK or anything, mine both have full time jobs still. Cripes..

Hormonal

So as I mentioned in the previous post, after 15 or so years I have stopped taking the pill. Sounds simple enough, eh? Hardly! I can not believe what a 180 my personality seems to have taken. Everything makes me angry. My mouth has a mind of it's own and I can't seem to stop it from opening when it should be closing. The worst part is; I don't care. I did however apologize to my husband yesterday, but not because I felt any remorse, but because I felt I had no choice.

I have always been that person who was able to take 2 steps back and process prior to adding my 2 cents into the conversation, now it seems I'm giving you an entire dollar and then asking for a refund. It's horrible, and yet I can't stop.

Was I like this before I stared taking the pill? I have no idea..I can't remember that far back.

I did speak with my husband before I stopped taking the pill that I had no idea how the lack of hormone was going to affect me, if at all, so I do feel a bit better knowing that he had fair warning. Is this my way if excusing my behavior? Absolutely not. Those of you who have experienced this know that, and those who have not- you wait and try not to pass judgement; your time will come.

Discharge?

"Many women have a little bit of discharge daily which can be quite normal. Sometimes during hormonal changes the discharge may become a little heavier and somewhat gelatinous in texture but have no smell or other symptoms associated with it. Often this occurs during or after pregnancy."

Well that's a relief. The other day I went to the bathroom and had a large chunk of of looked like clear gelatin hanging from my nether regions. I thought it was quite odd. No smell though. I chalked it up to hormonal changes Seeing I have stopped taking the pill. I have been feeling quite crampy as well, which I also chalked up to my body adjusting to the lack of my birth control pills.